I’m really bad with this remembering to take time — no, MAKE time — to reflect on my day, on life, and on random things that happen to me in dreams (when applicable). I haven’t done it since my last emotionally traumatic instance… which I suppose could be equivalent in some way to my current situation. Kindof.
Time is an extremely important, overly abused and taken for granted opportunity. Time is not just numbers on a clock, or a measurement of work ethic, or anything like that… it’s real. It’s solid. We can destroy it quickly; mercilessly.
It is said that “Time is not measured in the number of breaths you take, but in the number of moments that take your breath away.” Or something to that effect. I know I haven’t given myself enough of the latter, until the last year or so. Imagine though, I’m only 24… I have spent at least 22 years being less-than-enthused about my job, my studies, my love life… the whole bit. It wasn’t until recently that I realized I have a legitimate passion. And it wasn’t until recently that I seriously considered the idea that I’m wasting my time. I can’t imagine how others, those who don’t have this moment of rationalization until their late 30s, 40s, or later… I can’t imagine how they feel.
I guess I’ll never know.
What I do know is that all the time you spend should yield some kind of compensation — wages, enjoyment, relaxation, clarity, health… All of it should be positive.
The compensation for my time? Not overly enjoyable… I don’t get paid near enough compared to what I’m worth… I’m overly stressed when I don’t need to be and my brain’s a jumbled mess. Most of the time. I for one am tired of working within the system — I catch myself saying that a lot nowadays. I have the option of stepping outside the box, grabbing life by the horns… take your imagery however you like. I’m tired of finding enjoyment within my daily obligations — school, work… I like learning, and I like getting paid for doing something that entertains me.
It’s just a matter of finding an occupation that I enjoy, and that pays me well enough to stay entertained. Let the search begin.
