December 2011
3 posts
I decided to learn Italian. →
Bones
BRENNAN: We have a problem.
CAM: Uh, huh. Do you see a solution?
BRENNAN: It’s not completely my fault. I was a foster child and apparently, Booth says that – Booth says that I have – Well, something about control issues and the weight of the world.
CAM: That sounds like Booth.
BRENNAN: I think he meant that if I’m going to share responsibility for these cases, I’m going...
Time.
I’m really bad with this remembering to take time — no, MAKE time — to reflect on my day, on life, and on random things that happen to me in dreams (when applicable). I haven’t done it since my last emotionally traumatic instance… which I suppose could be equivalent in some way to my current situation. Kindof. Time is an extremely important, overly abused and taken...
November 2011
2 posts
One Word.
“The idea is simple: Each of us suggests one word — literally one word — that all of us should think about in 2010, and then takes one page to explain why and how that word matters. The result is an intriguing, inspiring, and at times downright moving collection of unconventional wisdom that is available free to everyone as of this morning.”
Courtesy of Bill Taylor,...
Amazing Grace
Oh tumblr. I thought I lost you…
Actually, it was me who was lost. I still am, to an extent… even though so much Amazing has happened since we last met. I found my Grace. Now, I just hope to find myself.
Here’s to the renewal of a b-e-a-utiful partnership.
Salud.
the progression into madness
Day 2
I don’t really know how to deal with this. How to approach this or what to think. Can I trust your emotions and the things you say, after you told me you didn’t feel the same anymore, but you still miss me? You feel like something’s missing but you’re the one who wanted or need it that way. I don’t know how to react. I want the budding, suffocating feeling of loving you, but I can’t bring...
women revealed... or maybe it's just me
So, you think you know women? Well… you might. You might not. I don’t pride myself on being just like everyone else, but there are several key factors that I think men in general should know about women that I am using myself as an example for.
1. I, personally, have the rebound rate of a retarded puppy. I don’t harbor anger for long periods of time anymore. I can’t afford...
October 2009
2 posts
closing in.
i get the sinking suspicion that the choices i am making are wrong. i feel like i’m being backed into a corner, and i hate it. i know how things should work out if i keep on this track, and i know how i want them to work out… but i don’t know if all that is how things are supposed to work out in the long run.
i want to be apart, but i want to be together.
i want time for...
July 2009
5 posts
Admissions, pt 2: To Whom it May Concern
I’m a pretty angry individual by nature.
I’m angry about a lot of things that happened to me in the past; things that I couldn’t very well control then, and I surely can’t control now. I can’t change them. I can only grow from the experiences I’ve had.
I was pretty angry after my dad died. It was a sudden thing, and my whole world got turned upside down in enough time to keep me in the “Gotta be...
“Falling in love with someone isn’t always going to be easy. It is often...”
– Anonymous, as per www.lovingyou.com
Admissions
I’m going to do this without crying.
Knowledge.
Recently, I have been faced with many an opportunity — dare I say, a spotlight — to see situations in my life that are either (a) not necessarily good, or (b) not how I want to be living. The first time I really paid attention was when my friend and I spoke to a man named Anthony down in the Bahamas. He witnessed to us for probably...
“If it’s very painful for you to criticize your friends - you’re safe...”
– quotegarden.com/friendship.html
June 2009
1 post
May 2009
2 posts
"i despise the color white."
My eyelids fluttered open. Where did all the colors go? The only variance to the white room was my metal bed frame, painted silver like its nonexistent springs. As I moved, the mattress made a plastic rustling sound, and I knew I missed the squeaky bed springs already. This is what happens when you make a choice, or try to. It changes your destiny. It leaves you to sleep on an oversized KinderMat,...
"that one independent outing"
Arm in arm we marched to the train station, intent on a ticket to wherever. Anywhere
was good enough. You
told the ticket seller to surprise us, and he did. We closed our eyes. As the paper touched our hands, we
shoved it into the darkness
of our pocketbooks. He said we had an hour until our train, so we explored
the rest of the station. It was exciting, just the two of us.
We wandered, laughing...
April 2009
14 posts
Thankful.
I am thankful. For once in my life, well… maybe twice… I am truly, honestly, without a doubt THANKFUL. And it feels better than the best “best” I’ve ever had.
sigh.
I laid out my problems. I tried to explain them… at least, the one that’s been weighing on my mind the most lately.
Epiphany 1: Get God.
Epiphany 2: Don’t talk to my mom about certain stuff until I get a handle on the rest of everything.
Epiphany 3: Love is love, is love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.
Epiphany 4: Pick up that Bible, ASAP.
“the ambiguity of the word 'fuck' right there…”
I spoke with my cousin the other day, the one I haven’t seen in almost a decade. Her mother’s dying from a terminal lung illness. I talked to her, too… her voice had changed, but not so much that I didn’t recognize it. She said she’d been thinking of me recently. Why, I don’t know. She must’ve grown up a lot since I saw her last… I don’t...
"Mens sana in corpore sano."
I’m so tired of being in constant conflict with myself.
I resent things that make other people happy, because they don’t make me happy… even though it works out in my best interests.
Speaking of resentment… I make jokes partly out of humor, and partly out of resentment… but I can’t honestly say which part is bigger.
I feel threatened even when I know...
a title would say too much
he touched me. i didn’t feel a thing, except amused… and more than slightly disgusted. it normally wouldn’t bother me, but i guess a lot more has changed than i thought.
this is my apology.
i’m taking care of it, but eventually i’ll say it out loud.
horseplay is no longer allowed.
the sound of settling
Wikipedia tells me that ”Settling is the process by which particulates settle to the bottom of a liquid and form a sediment. Particles that experience a force, either due to gravity or due to centrifugal motion will tend to move in a uniform manner in the direction exerted by that force. For gravity settling, this means that the particles will tend to fall to the bottom of the vessel,...
1 - The Phone Call
2:58 glows green on the night stand; Sneering at me; laughing. Brilliant. The phone vibrates, knocking itself onto my bed Barely missing my face. What a wakeup, right? This better be important, I screamed into my pillow. JAMES? What do you want, Ted? GET HERE. WE HAVE A SITUATION. Oh. Be there in five. I stumbled around, finding a way to clothe myself in the dark. Turning on the light was not...
oh, so irritating.
Every girl likes to be told they’re beautiful. Not “hot,” not “sexy,” not “cute”… BEAUTIFUL. And I hate going through my day knowing you outwardly compliment your car more than you do me. It makes me feel like crap, to be honest. The more I joke around about it and bring it up, the more serious I am. Quit paying $10 every few days to wash your...
March 2009
8 posts
Intensity
I have never really been “passionate” about anything. I never had the zeal for religion. I appreciated other people’s zeal… and even though I think getting in close with God is an amazing thing (and necessary, in most cases), I envied those that could truly let themselves go and be taken up by Him. They spoke in tongues, and all I could do was watch. I think I heard once,...
“Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
So love the people who treat you...”
The verdict is in.
I’ve made the executive decision that the things I go through are worth it. Good, bad, ugly… they’re all worth it.
I know love… and I know Love. I know sadness, and I’ve seen sorrow. I’ve hit rock bottom — or as “rock bottom” as a 21 year old can get in the course of a life not yet fully lived — and I’ve risen above it, with a...
“To the Moon and Back” — Savage...
Call me a Realist, but the stars are dead to me.
I wondered a little wonder this afternoon: Does wishing on a star count if we know the star we are wishing on is just an image of a star that died a long time ago?
Are wishes really valid then?
Can lingering images grant the thoughtful longings of romantics, or are we better off wishing into the blackness — the space between the stars — so that maybe, one day, when the light of those...
i dreamed a dream about my dad
“It doesn’t matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was.” -Anne Sexton
I woke up from a nap earlier and had a very bewildering thought. It’s not a new thought, by any means, but it’s bewildering all the same… My dad died shortly after I turned thirteen. Eighteen days after, to be precise. I remember various things that he and I did… and I know he loved...
I wonder how I can love someone so much that it...